Thursday, October 28, 2010

The First of Many Gross Updates

WARNING: this post contains pretty frank descriptions of pap smears, how they are done, what the results of them look like, and sexual health in general. Don´t read it if you are squeamish, do not already know what a pap smear is, or are 7 years old or so and somehow found my blog.

If you don´t want to keep reading, here´s a hilarious video that also deals with women. but isn´t quite as gross.

Today at the clinic it was really slow. Normally, there is a huge line of patients waiting to be seen as I walk in at 830, but today there were maybe three or four. Dra. Espinoza is on vacation like everyone else is or wants to be, so its basically impossible to get any procedures done with out her. Apparently, though, she had committed to doing all these pap smears, so she showed up around 930 to get them done and leave.

It was odd to be in the empty clinic. I´m used to having to step over kids, people in constant states of undress and injury in the waiting room, loudness and lines. But today the lawn chairs in the stone room were empty, no one was watching the TV blaring a documentary about Princess Diana. Even the neighborhood dog that we have to shoo out a couple times an hour was missing. It was just me, grumpy older nurse, and cheerful younger nurse.

We called each woman in before the doctor got there to fill out the form required to do a pap smear. This was to be efficient, and also to avoid having to fill out the form while the pap smear is done, which can lead to awkward back and forth questioning from the doctor and nurse, like, ¨what´s your cell phone number?¨followed close by ¨how long have you had this discharge?¨

Most of this time, I sat around watching cheerful younger nurse (CYN) fill out this form with the patients. I really wanted to help, but I felt shy infringing on her job, and also I was really worried I would make a mistake. Making a mistake is a huge to-do when it happens. All the forms are in duplicate or triplicate, so you either have to start the whole form over or go fine a white out pen and go over each sheet. I´m still pretty bad with numbers over two digits, so the 11 digit cedula is tricky and so is the phone number unless they say just like ¨eight seven two four¨ instead of ¨eighty seven twenty four¨ which I almost always mess up.

Dra. Calle came in, grumpy but still her usual enthusiastic. She´s so young and idealistic, she could be on ER. We started with the pap smears, asking each woman to come in, go into the attached bathroom to put on the cloth robe, then lay down on the OB GYN table. Dra Calle and CYN crouch between her scared legs and adjust a large floor lamp with some Winnie The Pooh stickers on the base. I´ll spare you the details of the actual procedure. Mostly, I make eye contact with the woman while she grimaces. After we get the two samples on the slide to send to the library, the woman gets up and gets dressed, and CYN and Dra. Calle exchange looks about how bad the sample was.

And the samples are bad. For the majority of the first world, except for those horrible visits when your stomach drops and every thing changes, going to the doctor means not much is wrong. Just checking on it, catching it early, just making sure its nothing. Women should get pap smears about once a year, and the vast majority of those are going to come back normal. But for these women in Puembo, this is their first or second pap smear, after two or three children and years of sexual activity. And these women don´t take the morning off work to get checked out if nothing is wrong. They come in for a pap smear with discharge or stomach pain or bleeding that won´t stop. And its not like I have a microscope or anything, its not like I look at the samples that closely, but blood is pretty easy to spot. And of the 20 or so pap smears I´ve seen, only one or two haven´t been bloody.

I know this is really gross and graphic, but its my job and it’s the lives and health of these women. At least they are getting screened, even if we have to use the Winnie the Pooh lamp, even if the results take three weeks to come back, even if it might be too late. There are free pap smears every Thursday, and the doctor will come back from vacation to make sure they get done. And another happy point: we ask on the form about births and abortions (that’s the Spanish terms for miscarriages). And of these twenty women, only one has reported a miscarriage. And we know its true, because for many of the patients, their prenatal care was done at the center in Puembo. Low infant mortality? Clinical relationship with a single health care location? Those are huge steps in public health.


Unfortunately, tuberculosis is making a come back in Puembo. Whoops!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

This Weekend I Ate Alot

This was the fin de semana of pasta. Or food in general. But a lot of that food was pasta. I’ll go by anecdotes, but its going to end up just describing meals because that’s what mainly happened this weekend.




On Friday afternoon, I had spaghetti on the brain. I stopped at a store on the way home from the bus stop to see if they had tomatoes to make a sauce. They were out, and I was all sad walking home until I went into the kitchen and found….marinara sauce! Just what I was hoping for. Jimmy and I both took naps, and when I got up there was a nun in the living room. I felt like Ke$ha, “wake up in the morning and there’s a nun at the table, grab my glasses Im out the door I’m gonna hit this…stable….” OK maybe not Ke$ha. I’d never actually met a nun before, so I was sort of scared but she was mostly very deaf and silent. She had been a nun since the month before my Ecuamadre was born, more than 53 years. Wow. She is my madre’s great aunt, she’s not just some random nun.



Anyway, so we ate spaghetti, my host mom, my metal head brother, our maid, this nun and I, and drank tea and ate canned peaches. That’s just how things go sometimes.



Wario and Vampira, my girlies, came over, and we went shopping at the cheap import stores near my house, lay around and chatted. We drank mocha and coffee and I discovered yet again that I really can’t drink milk. It really hurts me. We went downtown and sat around at this bar that actually serves those giant fishbowl drinks they warn you about before you go on Spring Break in Miami Beach or something. Instead of paying lots of money to get into clubs, I ate the best hamburger I have eaten in my life. Granted, that number is probably about a dozen, but this was so damnably good. It wasn’t a meat thing at all, it was the fried onions and mustard and perfectly toasted bun. A culinary experience, that burger. And even better given that it was 11:45, I was sitting on a lawn chair in downtown Quito and the fishbowls were going swimmingly.



That night ended late, but I managed to get myself up by 9 and have some fruit and granola and horrifically sweet yoghurt. I drink a lot of yoghurt here, and some of it is good and some of it is bad and bright pink. I went running in Parque El Ejido, which actually meant jogging fast for like 12 minutes and then powerwalking to the playground. They have the best playground in Parque El Ejido! There is a slide that is like two stories high and a zip line and this giant round swing. Everyone should go. I got home and watched some Sex in the City. For some inexplicable reason, we have disc two of season six, so I watched all of that. I didn’t understand the plot lines when I started and now I’m left in suspense. I need to find discs one and three!



At that point, it was time for lunch. My mom has a friend that makes pasta, so we boiled up some of her spinach raviolis and made pesto: basil, spinach, olive oil, garlic, and nuts in the blender. Bright green. We also made a salad with some ancient lettuce, red onions and a whole perfect avacado. Balsamic vinegar and sesemae oil dressing. Perfect. Ate a ton with my ma, chilled out and watched Jimmy and his girlfirned eat a ton. Raviolis are just perfect to pick out of the bowl.



A couple of hours later, I went over to my buddy Mike’s house for dinner. Mike is a big guy, a big Italian guy, and he misses good cooking and big meals, so he had about ten of us over and made pasta. When I got there, they were pouring in the third cup of heavy cream into the pot, and were glad I had brought the vodka. For vodka sauce. Let me tell you, it is really classy going to ask your local bodega owner for the “cheapest, smallest vodka.” You tell them its for cooking, and they don't believe you.



But it was for cooking, and the sauce was excellent. Rediculously rich and excellent. We had salad with dressing Hannah brought from Michigan and this amazing pasta and ridiculously created cookies a la Scott and Dita. We just threw ingedientes that we recalled are in cookies in a bowl and baked little lumps. We also almost added a cup of salt, because Mike’s family likes to keep salt in a jar labled “sugar.” They turned out really tasty, if texturally bizarre.



We sat around for a while, then decided to take a walk. We made it about ten blocks away to near Malcolm’s house, to a giant fluorescent panederia that would make the Beat Generation blush with nostalgia. Madre is sure it is a money laundering place, and I sort of believe her, and sort of just think she is judging the owners for being Colombian. We ordered cookies and coffee and sat there till they closed the place down at ten. We all went home to sleep off all that heavy cream.



The next morning, I watched I Heart Huckabees, which isn’t as good as the first time. Oh well. I ate a pretty bad omlette. Oh well. My madre and I walked near abuela’s house to the big weekend market. The last time I went there, it was my second or third day or something and I was so completely overwhelmed that I think I blocked the memory or something. This time, my Spanish was better, my propreoception less acute, and I was in an overall better mood. We bought fruit for juice, and that was awesome because I got to pick, so no diaretic-papaya juice this week, oranges, bok choi, beets, and eggplants. Ecuadorians have no idea what to do with eggplants, my madre couldn’t even think of the name for it. The lady selling was like “good thing your gringa knows what to do with these, its hard to sell them.” Anytime, old indigenous lady. Another old indigenous lady gave me a fruit so acidic and stringy I knew it wasn´t meant for human consumption. You got me there, second old indigenous lady.



We went to a baby clothes store and bought some really cute little romper things for Madre’s friend who is having a baby in like 3 days. I bought some underwear that say “100% intelegente” on them. Sometimes, its worth the 1.50$.



We went home and started making lunch. Madre gave me detailed instructions on how to make cibeche and I wrote them down in my notebook. Maybe if you are lucky, I’ll make it for you. She worked on the soup, boiling a whole chicken, feet and head included, although she strained those out so that you can put them in when you want them. She claimed the stomach and a food, and left Jimmy the head. Her very very pregnant friend came over and claimed the other foot. I was glad to be left out.



Soup and civeche isn’t really a meal, so my madre was like “COOK THESE EGGPLANT please.” I did some quick internetting and made eggplant parmesian, fried in a skillet in palm oil. Madre, pregnancy Doris and my evil neighbor Parilla were fascinated by it. They were aquainted with the bread crumbs-egg dipping process, but the idea of brining the eggplant, the idea of the eggplant in general was totally foreign. They were like “what could we eat this with?” “what culture does this come from?” “Is this healthy?” At one point, Parilla was like “This would be so good with cheese! And catchup!” She was close.



Malcolm and another friend of Madre came over, and we had lunch. The cibeche was the best I’ve had, the fish tender and flakey, the onions really crunchy, the broth perfect. Of course, we put popcorn and banana chips in it. Two months ago, if you told me I'd be eating blanched fish in orange juice with pop corn in it, I’d have gagged. Today, I just wished for more.



Then we had soup, fresh chicken broth with pieces of ginger, parsnip, and bok choi. Wow. So simple and safe tasting. There’s more of that, and I’m having it for breakfast.



Then we had the eggplants. They were pretty greasy but I got the proper crumb consistency without too many burnt spots or hard middles. It was so funny to see them eat it. My madre refused to eat the skin. Her other friend scraped off all the breading to eat after the eggplant, and the third friend tried to eat it with guacamole.



After that, we just sat around eating the guacamole with banana chips, which is, in my humble opinon, a better guacamole-carrying apparatus thatn the tortilla chip. I know that's pretty sacreligious, but stay with me on this one. We sat around the table and talked about, among other things, urine therapy (that's where you drink your own pee) and how madre’s one friend put her grandson’s urine on his face to cure some sort of white marks he had on his face. She would get him to pee in a cup, and then like wait fifteen minutes until “he’d half forgotten that he’d gone pee” and then “go up to him with the cloth already wet to wash is face.” It made the white marks go away, though. Apparently, the gunk the baby it covered in when it gets born is really good for wrinkles, and both madre and friend are mad they didn’t get it from their kids. Pregnant Doris had no comment.



Then I watched like three hours of MTV and did my homework. Madre and her friend the urine obsessed went for a walk, and when they came back, they were Hari Krishna crazy. Apparenty there are Krishnas in the Old Town on Sundays, and they gave them all this information about healthy vegetarian eating. I’m down for that, so we talked about ghee and baba ganoosh and how to get protein from legumes for a while. Then we had coffee and a some horrible chocolate cake. The weekend was coming to an end. But the cherry on the sundae? From some hippies selling them in Old Town, my madre brought Jimmy and I some aphrodesiacial choclate cookies. I think I’ll save that till later.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Happy Wednesday

Aw yeah, its the end of the day. Well, the end of the school day. The end of a test and an early class and a study session and a mediocre salad. After this, I´m going to take my buses home, lie on my bed for a while, go eat Indian food with my ma and bro, and study some school something with HanHan. I used all that alliteration because I have six classes and there is no way to keep up with all of them. None of them are particularly hard, but its two times the amount of homework I´m used to and I´m constantly forgetting things. I´m also keeping two journals for different classes, drawing daily, and keeping up THIS WONDERFUL BLOG. and taking pictures, though I have no cord to connect my camera to the computer. ´But I´m not a quejumbrosa, which means ¨whiney.¨ I´m cool with the level of record keeping that is going on. It helps me remember, it gives structure to my day.

Stuff that has happened lately...
1. Did an excellent skit in Spanish class that was about wizards and magic queens and used forty vocabulary words and ended with a rap. We got videotaped. Jamie and I are that good.

2. Drew alot in drawing class. My drawing teacher continues to think I am an idiot because I don´t know words for ¨crosshatch¨and ¨non-acidadted drawing paper¨and also becasuse I don´t spend lots of money on art supplies. But I can now draw strait lines, put shadows under drawings of vases, draw Bacardi bottles, etc.

3. Got my pants´zipper fixed and made friends with my local tailor

4. Got sick, accidentally fell asleep at the breakfast table. Watched Grey´s Anatomy and drank some witchy tea my Ecuamama made me and got better

5. I´m planning an Improv in English workshop! This is gonna be great!

6. Went to a horrible Oktoberfest theamed bar. It was Thursday and I was just going to have a glass of beer, but then if we got unlimited Pilsner for an hour, we got 75 cents off! what a deal!!!!!! so I watched my friend win a drinking contest while beer was litterly puddling in his clothes, and then I left. Ok, there is a reason I did not go on study abroad in Germany. No offence.

7. Ate at a restaurant called Menestra de Negro. This is their logo. Not sure how to process this.

8. Watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Watched it again. Wow.

9. Found a cheap vegetarian Indian restaurant. This was critical to my health.

10. Celebrated Dia de los Defuntos at abuela´s house with colada morada which kind of is like syrupy koolaid with chunks of peach and ¨babaco¨in it. We also had ¨guaguas de pan¨which looked like more like larvea or fetuses than babies, and had eyes made of green raisins. Ok, cool. Hung out with my 7 year old cousins. Retreated to Malcolm´s room to read sociology when I got overwhelmed.

11. Found out how awesome Google Voice is. ¿How awesome? Really awesome. You can call any number in the US for free awesome. You can talk to your ma and sister awesome. You can activate your bank card awesome. Awesome.

12. Ate empenadas for lunch three days in a row. You can get an empenada and a juice for 2.20. you can share an empenada with your friend! you can bring french fries over from next door! you can get ceviche and popcorn! you can buy beer the size of a baby bottle or the size of a carton of milk! You can buy milkshakes! There are no salads or soup or really any vegetables, but you can get two pork empenadas for the price of one! (still haven´t gotten there)

13. It was my ¨tio¨ Malcolm´s birthday! Happy birthday!

14. Wrote alot of emails.

15. Suddently got really good at Spanish grammar and spelling. I can actually correct my own work now, I don´t have to sit with my Ecuamami like a 3rd grader

16. Learned I am not supposed to be putting my toilet paper in the toilet. Whoops.

17. Loved Ecuador! (also learned the word cursis, which means cheeeeesy)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Idiot Grin

here are some nicely stupid things I have said recently.


papanicolau is not the word for "Papa Nicholas," even though they sound the same. It means
pap smear. whoops.

The word for a snobby rich person isn't peluquero, its pelucon. Peluquero means
barber. so I was calling kids at my school hairdressers. What an insult.


And then everyday for class we make up sentences with our vocabulary and verb lists. Some of the funnier results.

"She abused our friendship when she gave my money"

"The closet took advantage of World War II"

"The all fled from the happiness of the restroom"

"When I went to touch the rat I looked for a package that was not dead."

"He really worries about the criminal system while resting at night."

"Your BMW tastes good always"


"facebook was discovered in one thousand, two hundred and four"

As I'm sure you all understand, we do it for the lolz

Friday, October 15, 2010

Yo Soy Una Mujer Sincera

"More and more I realize feminism will save the world. Feminism is for everybody. You can’t start with a fundamental, crazy imbalance like patriarchy. Until we have gender equality we will have crazy social ills. Feminism is a tool for men as well to escape violence and inequality."


Go Ani DeFranco.


Some pictures I like
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Enough political thinking, its the weekend!

Things that are going to happen this weekend:
-Clean room/do laundry
-take a nap
-do all my drawing homework
-do all my biology homework
-do all my sociology homework
-cry
-talk to Eustace
-Have Dia De los Defuntos, which is like the Day of the Dead, where you eat ¨Colada Morada¨which is this purple syrup that symbolizes blood, and ¨guaguas de pan¨(bread babies) to symbolize the babies that died.
-watch (not participate in!) a pro-Correa demonstration
-floss
-take malaria meds

The fun never stops here in the interandean valley.

Thats all for now folks

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Talky Talky

Here are two interesting/funny anecdotes relating to linguistics from the last two days.

1. I read one of those comic-book style textbooks about linguistics. It was really interesting, but then I caught myself applying Chomsky´s rules of language acquisation to my life! BF Skinner said that childrne learn language through correction and positive and negative reinforcement through their parents. Chomsky said that this isn´t true, that kids don´t just make random guesses at words, they create rules. Today, I felt myself create a rule. In spanish, coverings for things often have the prefix ¨sobre¨and then the word. I was looking for the word ¨Pillowcase¨ (and a pillowcase itself), and I called it a ¨sobrealmohada.¨ Even though that´s not the word (its almohadón), I felt my logic-brain think of how Spanish views coverings for things and what they call them. I´m learning!

2. This one is funny. We were in improv class, and we had a reading to do in English. the teacher was explaining some words in English that people might not know.
Teacher: (Spanish) Ok, so one word is ¨Joker.¨ Who knows what joker means?
Student 1:(English)Batman´s enemy
Student 2: (English)¨WHY SO SERIOUS¨
Student 3: (English) The late Heath Ledger won an Oscar for his preformance in The Dark Knight
Student 4: (Spanish) Heath Ledger died, you idiot!
Student 3: I know! That´s why I said the late
Student 2: He passed away!
Student 4: So ¨Joker¨means ¨dead¨?
Teacher: (Spanish) Ok, let´s move on. Theater of the Oppressed was founded by a Brazillian, Agusto Boal, who actually died about a year and a half ago.
Student 2: What a joker